Last night the History Channel introduced a new Kevin Costner produced mini-series, Hatfields and McCoys, about the original family feud. Here are a few thoughts: 1) Romania stands in nicely for the Kentucky-West Virginia post-Civil War wilderness. 2) It wasn’t necessary to go to Romania to film. There are 150 acres behind my house that would have worked well. 3) There is a lot of grimacing in this movie. 4) Kevin Costner does his best “wearily serious” expression in every scene. 5) Bill Paxson splits his screen time between his “really mad” face and his “really confused” face. 6) I think Paxson had as many kids by one wife in this movie than by all his wives in Big Love. 7) Some of the kids in this movie will never act again. 8) Fornicating was just as popular then as now. As was cussing. As was killing. 9) Knowing the Bible but not obeying it was just just as popular with Randall McCoy as it is for many today. 10) This story proves why vengeance should be left to God. Much of the above is tongue-in-cheek if it was not obvious. The movie is riddled with bad acting performances, and if this was a mini-series on Lifetime it might not even finish. The draw of this production (besides the fantastic trailer) is an answer to the question, “What in the world were these two families feuding about?” However, the story itself is compelling enough, even unbelievable enough to pull me into it and hold me there. Yes the dialogue is mostly invented, but the history is real and intriguing. For most Americans “the Hatfields and McCoys” has suffered a reduction, now referring to any disagreement. Many in my generation can attribute the sum total of their knowledge to a refrain in a single song: Waylon Jennings’ “Luckenbach, Texas (Back to the basics of love)”: This successful life we’re livin’s got us feuding like the Hatfields and McCoys But anyone who has ever pastored a church in Smalltown, USA, can tell you that–short of killing each other–there exist decades-long feuds between families and within them. The origins of such feuds are long forgotten or long adjudged meaningless, yet the feud remains. This is the second draw, I think. Who has not been angry enough with someone at some point in life when a long rift could have taken place? Would I have forgiven such a wrong? If the rift advanced, would I have been (or will I be) the one to take the first step to heal it? Such stories are rife with opportunities for self reflection. We are reminded of the Bible’s charge of hatred being the same as murder. Christ’s followers are called to peace. We are instructed in Romans to live peaceably with everyone so far as it depends on us. The Hatfield and McCoy feud reminds these are wise and healthy pursuits.
Mark Zuckerberg’s investor letter
The Borowitz Report has released a copy of Mark Zuckerberg’s pre-IPO letter to potential Facebook investors. Snarky stuff from the guy who showed up at an investment bank meeting in a hoodie recently. Zuckerberg’s letter is followed by a couple of thoughts of my own. Dear Potential Investor: For years, you’ve wasted your time on Facebook. Now here’s your chance to waste your money on it, too. Tomorrow is Facebook’s IPO, and I know what some of you are thinking. How will Facebook be any different from the dot-com bubble of the early 2000’s? For one thing, those bad dot-com stocks were all speculation and hype, and weren’t based on real businesses. Facebook, on the other hand, is based on a solid foundation of angry birds and imaginary sheep. Second, Facebook is the most successful social network in the world, enabling millions to share information of no interest with people they barely know. Third, every time someone clicks on a Facebook ad, Facebook makes money. And while no one has ever done this on purpose, millions have done it by mistake while drunk. We totally stole this idea from iTunes. Finally, if you invest in Facebook, you’ll be far from alone. As a result of using Facebook for the past few years, over 900 million people in the world have suffered mild to moderate brain damage, impairing their ability to make reasoned judgments. These will be your fellow Facebook investors. With your help, if all goes as planned tomorrow, Facebook’s IPO will net $100 billion. To put that number in context, it would take JP Morgan four or five trades to lose that much money. One last thing: what will, I, Mark Zuckerberg, do with the $18 billion I’m expected to earn from Facebook’s IPO? Well, I’m considering buying Greece, but that would still leave me with $18 billion. LOL. Friend me, Mark Any takeaways from this? Here are three. Feel free to add your insights in the comments. 1. Be who you are at all times. Many organizational settings will actively or passively demand conformity. Be who you are. If you cannot be who you are find another place to work. When Zuckerberg met with the investment bankers he wore what he likes to wear, even though he was criticized for it. John Eldredge wrote, “Let people feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.” This does not mean you have to act like a jerk. That is not weight; that is posturing. If you are most often defined as being a jerk you should start asking God to change who you are. What it does mean is that you have a gravitas you should not deny. 2. Use uniqueness to your advantage. Something about you is different from everyone else at your business or on your church staff. Your uniqueness sets you apart. Cultivate it; do not cover it. The uniqueness of Facebook and its success to date in standing out from MySpace, Friendster, etc, is a reflection of the uniqueness of its leadership. If they were like everyone else Facebook would be like the rest. They are not; it is not. 3. Don’t be afraid to mock yourself. Zuckerberg’s letter is brilliant in pointing out what we all think and know to be true: investors are about to plunk down a hundred billion dollars for a company “based on a solid foundation of angry birds and imaginary sheep.” If this is not full disclosure I don’t know what it. As an aside, this crowdsourced site is projecting a closing bell price of $54/share for a valuation of $135.7 billion dollars. Do you think Zuckerberg is a serious business leader for what he has done at Facebook, or just the king of a house of cards in an gathering storm?
Other thoughtful posts on gay marriage, homosexuality and faithfulness to the gospel
From Jay Sanders’ Pastoral Ramblings: This is a good time for people who call themselves Christians to question their faith. I don’t mean that in the sense of questioning the legitimacy of Christianity. I mean it in the sense of questioning the legitimacy of their own devotion to Christ. Gay marriage has been the one issue grabbing all of the headlines over the past week or so. This may be something that Christians have wanted to ignore for a while in hopes that it goes away. It’s not. It has crashed on the church’s lawn and is banging on the front door wanting to come in and stay a while. Bob Hyatt articulates a position of “the last chance” for both sides of the gay-marriage debate to get something they want…by giving up something they want: On one side, the Church is going to have to realize that gay men and women, in wanting what everyone else has, are asking for something reasonable. Rights of inheritance and property, custody and visitation- all of the rights granted currently by the state in marriage are good things, things we can affirm, even in relationships that we wouldn’t necessarily endorse. After all, even if we hold a more conservative view on divorce, I don’t see many churches advocating for divorced couples to lose the right to have custody over their step-children should something happen to their spouse. We may not endorse the relationship, but we can certainly try to understand the desire of those in it to have the same legal rights as other couples. And more than understand it- I think we can advocate for it, and practically demonstrate that we do in fact “love everyone.” Todd Littleton, while thinking of Hyatt, wonders why Christ followers partner with the state in marriage issues anyway: We have long had a difficult time parsing Church and State issues. For instance we do not want the State inserting itself in religious matters but do not think twice about signing a marriage license issued by the State. We not only sign the license but we note where our credentials to do so are recorded “Book and Page.” Trevin Wax’s How I Wish the Homosexuality Debate Would Go has now been “Liked” almost 11k times on Facebook: Just once, I’d like to see a TV interview go more like this: Host: You are a Christian pastor, and you say you believe the Bible, which means you are supposed to love all people. Pastor: That’s right. Host: But it appears to me that you and your church take a rather unloving position when it comes to gay people. Are homosexuals welcome to come to your church? Pastor: Of course. We believe that the gospel is a message relevant for every person on the planet, and we want everyone to hear the gospel and find salvation in Jesus Christ. So at our church, our arms are outstretched to people from every background, every race, every ethnicity and culture. We’re a place for all kinds of sinners and people with all kinds of problems.
Eight suggestions toward marriage longevity
A pastor I once heard said When I first started preaching I preached a sermon entitled, “Ten Surefire Ways to Raise Godly Kids.” Now I have kids that are getting older, I changed it to, “A Few Things You Might Want to Try With Your Kids. They Might Work and They Might Not.” This humorous thought is the dilemma faced by young pastors. The need to preach with authority on things about which you have no experience can, at times, seem daunting even when being faithful to the text. Sonya and I have now been married for more than 28 years, so I no longer feel as I did at the age of 25. Nearly three decades brings a rear-view mirror filled with mountains climbed, valleys trekked and streams forded. We are currently doing pre-marriage counseling together for the first time. We have been married longer than either of these two betrothed young adults have been alive. Yes, I feel old. Below are a few thoughts about remaining married for multiple decades. These have been gleaned from our marriage and those around us who have made it to 40 years, 50 years and more. There is an old joke about the husband celebrating his 75th wedding anniversary, when asked how they managed to stay married so long, replied, “Well, whatever she said to do, I did it.” I hope your relationship is a little more partnership than either party being a doormat for the other. I would love to hit 75 years together on February 4, 2059 (a date which my mind slows to apprehend), but will enjoy and relish as many as God gives us. In the meantime, this is how we plan to continue. 1. Recognition of marriage as a reflection of Christ and the church. I don’t know if it is possible to fully benefit from the marriage relationship without grasping the primary relationship that marriage models, i.e., that of Jesus Christ and His bride, the church. Issues are more easily resolved–or never become issues at all–when husband and wife relate according to that biblical example. 2. Being mutually submitted to each other. It’s really very simple: a husband and wife who truly love one another must and will on occasion submit their preference to that of his or her spouse. It is not a matter of who is boss; it is a matter of love. I think husbands are tasked with “leading the family,” but using this as a club is ignorant and unbiblical. Why some men claim to have a Proverbs 31 wife then not lean on her wisdom is beyond me. 3. Never ending, never bending love. Years ago someone sang of love, “We’ve got to learn to get past all emotion to the meaning of the word.” Love is an act of the will. I do love or I do not. Feelings have nothing to do with love; they are only associated with the emotions love sometimes engenders. Love means a husband and wife maintain the effort to put the other first as long as they both shall live. 4. Constant forgiveness. If Sonya were not so forgiving she would have divorced me years ago. (If she let me live long enough to make it through the legal proceedings.) Whether reality or not I think I have received more forgiveness over the years than I have given. Forgiveness–the decision not to hold your spouse guilty for an infraction–is the oil that keeps marriage from grinding down in bitterness, anger and despair. 5. Keeping kids in their place. Children should never been the center of a marriage. The relationship between husband and wife should be the center at all times. Children gain comfort and direction from a stable marriage. 6. Focusing on the physical. There is a reason the Bible has so much to say about sex in marriage. It is essential! The pleasures of the physical relationship should not be forgotten after a few years. This opens the door to unnecessary temptation. A loving and passionate physical relationship is a protection against sexual sin. 7. Continue the pursuit. Ward Cleaver, from the 1950’s comedy Leave it to Beaver, once responded to his wife’s complaint about his lack of romance, “Well, dear, what’s the use in chasing the bus after you’ve already caught it?” Sadly, this is the attitude of many men, but pursuit should not stop with the “I do’s.” Instead that is when it should continue in earnest. 8. Talk. And guys, it is not, “What do you want to talk about?” It is, “Tell me about your day.” Early in our marriage this was a mystery to me. Now it is one of the things I value most. We talk in the mornings before I leave for work, usually talk at least once during the day, exchange text messages all the time, and usually talk for a while at night. Turn of the TV and turn on the conversation. Of course this is not an exhaustive list. What are some things that continue to strengthen your marriage?
The comparison trap
“I could never look like that.” –A million teen aged girls A dangerous reality in Western civilization is the temptation of young girls to compare themselves to the sexualized airbrushed images of models, singers and actors. The “new normal” has a brutal effect on the average girl who does not have a troop of stylists focusing solely on her for hours each morning. Even tempered viewing of commercials finds immodestly dressed women in dreams (KIA), in grocery stores (beer), in courtrooms (GoDaddy), as cars (Fiat), eating burgers (Hardee’s) and–GASP–as angels (Victoria’s Secret…is out). Eileen Zurbriggen, former chair of the American Psychiatric Association, said in 2007: The consequences of the sexualization of girls in media are likely to be a negative influence on girls’ healthy development. We have ample evidence to conclude that sexualization has negative effects in a variety of domains, including cognitive functioning, physical and mental health, and healthy sexual development. I’m no psychiatrist, but I think her use of “likely” deserves an award for understatement. Former Olympic gymnast, Shawn Johnson, recently endured tabloid abuse after a weight gain. Admitting she had long battled image issues, Johnson said: I was at the Olympic Games winning medals and I still doubted my image. I doubted what I looked like. That’s sad. Girls should be taught different than that. One Canadian mom, while assisting her son on a research project, noticed all the changes, touch-ups and “improvements” made on ads. She said: In a typical retouched photo faces are slimmed, eyes and teeth whitened, all lines, freckles, blemishes, veins, and I might add character, are removed from the visible skin. It is then darkened or lightened and often given a more often glow or sheen. Bodies are reshaped, usually to be slimmer, sometimes to be curvier, and in the case of men, to add muscle definition. Hair can be made longer, thicker shinier and of course the colour can be changed, as with the colour of eyes and skin tone. Noses can be thinned, eyes spaced wider apart, necks elongated. We don’t see most celebrities portrayed as they really look. As soon as photo editing software is used no longer are we looking at photography but manipulation. The finished products are not pictures; they are artists’ renderings. The “models” are no longer models. They are barely caricatures; more like cartoons. The concerns have become so prevalent at least one group is pushing to have photos labelled if they have been Photoshopped or altered. I remember as a young adult seeing a magazine article with a bunch of “without make-up” pictures. On one side would be a certain celeb as she appeared on a cd cover or in a movie or ad. On the other side would be the picture without make-up, or after a long day in the yard or their mugshot. Whichever, the point was to be unflattering…and thoroughly realistic. To say it was revealing would not begin to cover it. My initial reaction (toward a now unremembered super model) was, “Good grief! She’s ugly!” It was then I realized how much was done to make a normal–or even unattractive–person conform to the societal expectation of beauty. We need here to avoid two problematic cliches (“Beauty is only skin deep.” and “She’s beautiful on the inside.”) as they provide no help to the issue. The first insinuates there is no inner beauty while the second insinuates some girls or women have no outer beauty. Both of these are shallow and wrong. There is outer beauty, and every girl possesses some strand of it. There is inner beauty, and some girls possess little if any of it. There are those, as a former co-worker once said, who are “Vogue on the outside and vague on the inside.” While Paul’s words from 2 Corinthians 10:12 do not address the issue of “industrialized beauty,” a helpful principle can be gleaned from his words: We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. (NIV) God makes it clear He personally has a hand in our development giving us a reason for gratitude and wonder. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. (Ps. 139:14-16, ESV) Those who are Christ followers have been redeemed from the need of comparison. Scripture teaches that we are “in Christ” and “accepted in the beloved” (Jesus). If God has accepted me because of Jesus Christ, why should I despair if someone else has straighter teeth, thicker hair or bigger biceps than me? I would encourage any pre-teen or teen girl (or adult woman) to reject both the idealization and objectification of the female image. There is no perfect woman (either in looks or substance), nor is there an ideal woman toward which you all should strive. And, rather than falling for that trap, Christ following women should speak against the expectation that enough botox, foundation, mousse, helium or fake butt-cheeks can make one beautiful. Take care lest you end up a Frankenstein’s monster due to beauty blindness. (The idea of the Proverbs 31 woman being “the ideal woman,” though popular, is not biblical. The Bible says she is virtuous rather than ideal, a word meaning strong, able, and efficient. I am not sure where ideal worked its way into usage, but I suspect a Bible translator who was thinking on his future wife. ;^) What follows are two projects from Unilever acting on behalf of the Dove Self Esteem Fund. (Another term used is the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty which “celebrate[s] the natural
A few thoughts in light of President Obama’s support of gay marriage
For Christian culture warriors everywhere, May 9, 2012, will be a date that lives in infamy. In an interview with ABC News President Barack Obama announced publicly his support for same-sex marriage in the United States. This follows similar statements (trial balloons?) recently by vice-president Joe Biden (last Sunday) and Education Secretary Arne Duncan. The only surprise expressed by some was that the president’s “evolution” was so time consuming. Indeed some seemed upset that he waited so long. The “Log Cabin Republicans” LGBT group within the GOP actually chastised the President for “Cold Comfort” in his decision. PRESS RELEASE: @BarackObama Announcement is Cold Comfort to #LGBT Americans logcabin.org/site/apps/nlne… #Amendment1 #gay #marriage #equality — LogCabinRepublicans (@LogCabinGOP) May 9, 2012 Afternoon anchor on the arch-conservative FOX News, Shepard Smith, followed a video report of the President’s announcement by saying, “the president of the United States, now in the 21st century.” I’ve written about homosexuality and the church before on a blog now defunct. After President Obama’s announcement I was asked by a friend to address the issue of gay marriage from a “Libertarian” perspective, but since I am a political Independent such an endeavor might not bear fruit. Discounting any political position I’ve had many thoughts on this issue over the course of the last few years and now seems a good time to toss mine into the conversation. Below are a few thoughts on the subject. Please read completely before commenting. 1) Christians have been on the wrong side of history so many times we have a hard time convincing people in the wider culture we can ever be on the right side. Slavery, Jim Crow, the Civil Rights Movement and inter-racial marriage are to name but a few. People in the media are already promoting the “wrong side of history” narrative, and as that drumbeat increases our best arguments will begin to sound like “Yeah, but this time we’re right!” A Boston Globe headline dated May 10, 2012, reads, “On gay marriage, Obama is on the right side of history”. The subsequent editorial asserts, “So while the issue remains a matter of contention, the die is cast. Gay marriage will, in time, be broadly accepted in this country.” Barring a revival that would make the First and Second Great Awakenings look like a Backyard Bible Club, I think gay marriage will ultimately be widely accepted in the U.S. It may be a while before it is legalized across the country, but personal acceptance of the idea is already spreading rapidly. (In polls like this recent one from Gallup respondents affirm support. But in 32 states with a ballot initiative to affirm marriage between a man and woman each has passed with an average support of more than 60%.) 2) Too many Christians are much more adept at hating the sin than in loving the sinner. The old saw “love the sinner, but hate the sin” has just about run its course as a legitimate point of debate. Reality in contemporary American Christian conversation is “hate the sin, condemn the sinner, blame the sinner, accuse the sinner, castigate the sinner, Bible-whip the sinner and then tell the sinner you love them.” Seriously? Yes, I agree we should speak the truth in love. However, when those to whom truth is being spoken sense no love in our words it might be time to evaluate whether what we are doing matches what we think we are doing. If a parent treated their kids the way Christians respond to some sinners we would call it emotional manipulation or even emotional abuse. If someone I did not know told me, “You are a homophobic, woman-hating, confused, lying, manipulative skunk. Your faith is damaging to society, and you probably are promiscuous. But, down deep I love you,” I am not sure I would be convinced. The more followers of Christ make anti-gay marriage rhetoric the center of our public discourse, the farther away we push those we are convinced need the gospel the most. Jesus is shared; judgment is blared. Loving our enemies, even perceived ones, is not reducible to merely not hating them, and 1 Corinthians 13 is not firstly for weddings. 3) Christians are years too late recognizing the root of this issue. Some still do not. The root of this issue is not marriage for gays. The root of this issue is equality under the law for all citizens of the United States of America of which “marriage” has become symbolic of that effort (gay marriage is sometimes called “marriage equality”). I believe it did not have to be this way. Indeed, if Christian leaders of the past had paid attention to the underlying constitutional issues instead of constantly haranguing people about the “slippery slope” or fear-mongering about “creeping incrementalism” the current (and looming) divide would not be as severe. If we had protected the rights of citizens rather than framing the debate as a moral Titanic we might not be where we are today. One of the reasons this country was founded was for self-determination: that we might conduct our lives, our worship, and our business as we thought best. The Declaration of Independence gave voice to untold numbers of the king’s subjects who craved “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Bundled in that craving is the right (I believe) to choose who will make health decisions for me if I am incapacitated, who stands to inherit at the time of my death, who can visit me if “only family may visit.” Citizens–regardless of their sexual activity–should be able to arrange their affairs according to the liberties we all enjoy as citizens of the United States. I do not agree with marriage for people of the same gender, and do not know the best solution, but not to address this allows situation to continue that should be rectified. (Here is a graph of laws in all 50 states that affect such rights.) 4) We, by and large, have ceded the
‘The Second Coming,’ by William Butler Yeats
One of my favorite poems is ‘The Second Coming,’ by the Irish poet William Butler Yeats. Wikipedia notes: The poem uses Christian imagery regarding the Apocalypse and second coming as allegory to describe the atmosphere in post-war Europe. Two phrases that stand out to me have to do with the nature of our condition The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; and how the righteous and the unrighteous respond in that condition The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. This short poem remains important in my view since Christians today like to play end-times blackjack with cards of today’s headlines. The Bible does refer to “signs of the times,” but followers of Christ have been misinterpreting these signs for generations. The fact that a hated political opponent is in the White House does not mean Christ is returning tomorrow. Yeats’ poem of the apocalypse was written just after World War One nearly 100 years ago. My focus should be less on signs that could possibly portend Christ’s return, and more on obedience to the One who is returning. Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. Surely some revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming is at hand. The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert A shape with lion body and the head of a man, A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun, Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds. The darkness drops again; but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
Policing for profit: The injustice of ‘civil forfeiture’ [VIDEO]
A recent news story from NewsChannel 5 in Nashville led me (via a friend) to this video on ‘civil forfeiture.’ It is worth your two minutes. And remember, the only appropriate answer from a law-abiding citizen to the police query, “Do you mind if I take a look inside your briefcase/car/suitcase/backpack?” is, “Not unless you have a search warrant duly executed by a judge.” And have an attorney’s name and number in your phone at all times.
Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson blames women for nearly every ill in society [VIDEO]
I have never heard of Jesse Lee Peterson before today. I hope I never hear from him again. While he points out that women have been attacked, he seems unable to see how he is doing the same thing. I cannot fathom why he does not see it takes two to tango when talking about birth control. Most women are not able to make logical decisions? Women should never have been given the right to vote? Women cannot handle stress? Does he know any stay at home moms? Women do not have love? Most of the videos in this series have barely a hundred views, but this one has more than 44,000 views as of this date. I’m sure most of them are out of morbid curiosity. As a man who is a follower of Christ, a husband, and father of two daughters–and who has studied the Bible a time or two–there are problems here I cannot begin to fathom. Suffice it to say this is not reflective of the way Jesus treated women, and were any man of this mentality ever to approach my youngest daughter he would find himself in the street in short order. I do notice that this video has some edits, but I do not think they affect the substance of the talk given the way he interacts with the audience.
The overcriminalization of America: Idiots abounding
We have become the Third World with a government that is corrupt, abusive, intrusive, belligerent and unbiblical.